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Vman7
03-11-2022, 11:37 PM
Sorry I haven't been around here much the last few years. The last five years have been pretty rough dealing with stuff and mom's dementia. Mom got the early signs of dementia sometime in 2010, but the last 4-5 years were the worst. Mom fell a bunch of times last July, and it just got to the point where I just couldn't physically help her anymore or leave her alone at all. For a time I could leave her alone for about 4 hours, but over time that became less and less.

So at the end of Aug 2021 mom went into a nursing home. Mom could barely make any sense, part of the dementia. She kept getting UTIs a lot, which is very dangerous for women over 70. During Christmas eve and New Years eve mom went to the ER. The one on New Years eve was really bad got sepsis from a really bad UTI. I thought that was it. One of the first things the Doctor asked me was about a DNR. The hospital stabilized after about a week, but her mind was really worse, later stages of dementia. Once back at the nursing home mom went on hospice. Mom was not eating well the whole time she was in the nursing home, but once back she was eating a bit. Mom probably lost 50-70 lb.s while in the nursing home. Her last week she started to decline fast. I saw her 3 times with in days just before she passed away. The day before the nursing home called me and said mom has low blood pressure and shallow breathing. So I went to see her, but see only opened eyes barely for a few seconds. Then just was out of it. Kept talking to her and rubbing her hand, but not response. After about 3 hours waiting for hospice to show up, I decided to leave. Told mom I loved her in her ear and patted her head. Sun Feb 13th, 2021 the nursing home called about 11:30am and told me mom had labored breathing, so the hospice gave her the morphine kit to make sure she was in no pain. Mom passed away a little before 2pm.

After living together for 31 years. Mom passed away Sun Feb 13th, 2021. Mom was about a month shy of 91.

I'll miss her a lot. As I write this I am breaking up a bit.

God always has a plan. Everything happens for a reason, to teach us and to grow in God like character, so that we may grow to be a better person and to glorify God, and to pass along what we learn to others in order to help them be a better person.

I could say more about Christianity, but I won't, it would not be appropriate being a car forum out of that it may offend some. Paul taught to try and not to offend, even if oneself is offended, to have compassion toward others and to encourage and edify.

Your FFR buddy,
David V.

svassh
03-12-2022, 12:34 AM
Sorry to hear about your Mother. Sounds like you did the best you could for her.

God bless you both.

JohnK
03-12-2022, 12:42 AM
David, I'm so sorry for your loss. May your mother's memory be a blessing.

-John

RJD
03-12-2022, 06:42 AM
Take comfort in knowing that she rests in peace now. She passed knowing what we know based on your post - that she raised a good son who loved her. That's everything a mom could hope for.

My condolences.

KDubU
03-12-2022, 07:59 AM
I am very sorry David. Dementia is a brutal disease. May you find peace and eventually smile at the good times with your mum.

Jeff33Ford
03-12-2022, 08:36 AM
Sorry to hear David. Glad you got to spend time with her. It matters more than you know. You will look back with a smile in the future.

Straversi
03-12-2022, 09:12 AM
So sorry about your mother’s passing. Grieve, shout, cuss, pray, laugh and enjoy the memories. It all hurts but it helps too.
Hang in there.
-Steve

mrmustang
03-12-2022, 09:24 AM
David,

First, our heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Having interned my mother on 12/31 and my older sister earlier later year, I understand exactly what you are going through. Take the time to grieve, take the time to gather your wits, take a small step, every day, day by day, and you will get through it and see the trees for the forest once again. You have an extended family here, and we will help you through it as best we can.

Sincerely,

Bill S. & Family

wallace18
03-12-2022, 09:48 AM
David, my condolences to you and your family. I lost my Mom and Brother a few years back. I know they are with the Lord. Keep all the good memories till you meet them again.

CaptB
03-13-2022, 07:04 AM
Sorry to hear, my Mom and Dad went within a year of each other. A consequence of time and new generations.

GoDadGo
03-13-2022, 09:27 AM
Sorry for your loss, but you can take solace in knowing that she is out of the prison of dementia.
Losing loved ones is always tough and it always seems to come in waves.
Just know that this too shall pass and the pain will fade.
Good Luck & God's Speed To You & Your Family!

Gbeck
03-13-2022, 04:47 PM
So sorry for your loss. Dementia took my wife's mother after enduring 8 years in decline. It takes a very strong person to be the primary caregiver. Bless you!

bil1024
03-13-2022, 08:17 PM
So sorry for your loss, God be with you

mcwho
03-13-2022, 08:56 PM
David, I am sorry to hear about your loss, its always tough when on of your parents leave this life. In the future you can revell in the time that you had with your mother. At my age both of my parents are gone, and friends are falling fast. The pain will subside and you will think of the good times.

Bless you !
Bob

Vman7
03-14-2022, 06:53 PM
Thanks everybody, I appreciate the condolences :)

Vman